lookslikehecansurf:

do you know this thing michael does in interviews where he takes off a bracelet off his left wrist and fiddles with it

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I DONT KNOW WHY HE DOES THAT BUT ITS RLLY CUTE G OODBYe

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original-plastic:

Homosexuality is unnatural! It says so in this book where snakes talk, people come back from the dead, a guy walks on water, and a virgin has a baby.

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Levels of Tumblr.

helioscentrifuge:

1 follower = Tumblr Newbie.

10-40 followers = Tumblr Beginner.

50-99 followers = Tumblr User

100-349 followers = Blogger

350-500 followers = Dedicated Blogger.

501-799 followers =  Tumblr Expert.

800- 4,999 followers = Tumblr Popular.

5000+ followers =Tumblr famous. 

These are the legit numbers.

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  • doctor:sir we asked you to tape your allergic reactions this is just a video of you skateboarding
  • me:tell me thats not sick
  • doctor:haha yeah its pretty fucking sick dude
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slothblog:

stilezs:

salamenceite:

i really hate the “buy me pizza and watch disney movies with me” dating mentality. like. how about you tie me up and fuck the light from my eyes then pay my car insurance and we go out to eat at Burger King because chicken fries are back.

congrats you raised the bar from the first to the second for .. well none. yall got some pretty shitty expectations from relationships

You’ve clearly never had Burger King chicken fries

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poshxspice:

subject13fringe:

montypythonandtheholyblog:

today I learned that if you want to slash someone’s tires, don’t slash all four; only slash three because if you slash all four their insurance will pay for it but if you only slash three they have to pay for it all out of pocket 

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today on satan makes a blog post

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myheart137:

capt9rs:

chepibola:

rnozzarellasticks:

memeluvr2:

my algebra teacher is pregnant and asked my class for baby names and she called on me and i panicked and said luigi

I WAS ON MY PHONE IN ART AND I READ THIS AND LAUGHED OUT LOUD AND A KID NEXT TO ME WAS LIKE “WHO ARE YOU TEXTING” AND I PANICKED AND SAID “LUIGI”

GUYS THIS SHOULD BE A THING. EVERYTIME SOMEONE ASKS YOU SOMETHING AND YOU PANIC JUST SAY LUIGI

luigi! at the disco

i’ve reblogged 3 variations of this already

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